When we think of incredibly strong, resilient and empowered women, Stef Wild is at the forefront of our minds. We met Stef a few years ago and were lucky enough to have her as one of the first customers of our Finger Lime Face Lift Hydrating and Brightening Face Serum.
As a self-love coach, Stef has firsthand experience with trauma, feeling disconnected from her body, and confronting her darkest demons. From her personal experience, Stef understands what it feels like to be at rock bottom. From this, she has developed an approach to help her clients reconnect with their bodies, live their truth, and discover their inner power. Ultimately, building a life you love.
In our conversation with Stef, we learn about her journey to self-love, self-care rituals we should incorporate in our daily lives, the role of skincare in self-care and recommendations for those interested in starting their own path to self-love.
Can you tell us about your journey and how you became self-love coach?
It all starts with the journey of my own disempowerment. For years I suffered with mental breakdowns, suicidal ideation, and low self-worth. I had two investment properties, great corporate jobs, a side business, and a long-term partner. I was ticking all the boxes where society deems you successful, but I was so deeply unhappy within. I didn't even remember what happiness from within felt like.
After my divorce with my ex-husband, I hit an all-time low and had to make a choice of either choosing a new path or going down the same old familiar one, I had been on most of my life. The same old path was familiar, but doing something new seemed more exciting. So, instead of trying to make it in corporate again, and staying in Sydney, I bought a van, got rid of everything apart from my dog and a few valuables (which I moved up to my parents’ place in Nimbin). From there on I travelled the east coast of Australia and lived in my van for nine months.
This time allowed me space to just be with myself, slow right down, focus on my healing and listen to myself for the first time in my life. This is where I learned to be gentle with myself, listen to my intuition, honour my body, do things that aligned with my values, practice self-care (and so much more) and slowly, but surely I started to feel joy from within again, for the first time in years.
That nine months in my van was a pivotal time that changed who I am and how I relate to myself. From there on I studied to become a neo Tantra teacher, which helped me heal my relationship to sexuality, taught me about embodied boundaries, learned about healing trauma, and experiencing more pleasure in life. This helped me create safety within myself and regulate my nervous system. I started running workshops and sharing my journey online. I was surprised to find how many other people suffered from a lack of self-love and self-understanding. In fact, I think the majority of people’s problems in life stem from this. In school we are never taught how to understand the intricate language of the body or how to work with it, let alone how we can reach unconditional self-love and live according to our truest expression. If we did, the world would be a very different place.
A couple of years into my Tantra teacher journey I decided to do an Ayahuasca ceremony which left me with PTSD, trauma and semi psychotic episodes for years. Over the past three years I've been healing from that. The self-love practices and lessons that I learned at the beginning of my journey around healing trauma and the nervous system were pivotal in helping me get to where I am now - nearly completely healed and thriving! While insanely difficult, this whole journey helped me understand myself, my spirituality and others better and I wouldn't change it for the world.
The way I teach now comes from a place of deeper wisdom, groundedness and authenticity. I've recently started an online membership where over 100 women joined and every month we deepen our relationship with ourselves and our lives. Now, I'm in the process of dreaming up how I might be able to help more women deepen the relationship they have with themselves so they can lead beautiful, joy filled and aligned lives that serves them, their loved ones, and their communities.
Self-love is a topic that resonates with many people. What inspired you to focus your coaching practices in this area?
I think Self-love is one of the most important things anyone can aim for and achieve. When you reach it, your whole life changes for the better and you relate to others on a more authentic, deeper level. You become more authentic in yourself and make aligned to your true values, life choices. Life becomes better! You become a better human being when you understand yourself on a deeper level and are able to contribute in a more purposeful, soul-filled way to yourself, everyone around you and your community. Love makes everything better!
How do you define self-love and why is it crucial for our wellbeing?
A lot of people think that self-love is self-absorption or narcissism. But self-love really means having appreciation and respect for yourself. An appreciation for your worth as a human being. Respect for yourself to practice self-care and look after your body. It's about making the right choices for yourself that stem from your core values. It's about learning to be gentle with yourself, listen to your intuition, make choices in your life that help you align to your truest self. Whether it is being brave enough to go on a journey of healing from trauma, adopting healthier habits, learning to understand your emotions or regulating your nervous system. Self-love means that you are making healthier choices for yourself which not only impacts your life for the better but also makes you a happier person and that impacts people positively in the world around you too.
How does self-care play a role in fostering self-love?
Self-care is really about self-respect, which is an important aspect of self-love. When you respect yourself you want to look after your mind, body and soul. For example, your body is one of the only constants in your life. You are born with it, and you die with it. Other people may come and go, but your body is with you from the beginning until the end. Its highest purpose is to help you live and thrive. In order to do that it needs to be properly looked after. In order to look after it, you need to respect it and acknowledge its important role in your life... That in fact, without it, you wouldn't have a life at all! Once you understand its significance, you are able to respect it. Once you respect your body, you respect its value and want to do what's best for it to continue accomplishing its purpose for as long as possible. By practicing self-care you are showing that you understand your own worth and value and want to do what is healthiest for you.
Can you share some self-care rituals you recommend incorporating into our daily lives?
Self-care ranges from small simple daily practices to deep, complex life journeys.
On a daily basis you might want to have a healthy balance of productivity and rest. Or prioritise rest when your life has been particularly hectic. You can look after your body with movement, exercise and proper nutrition. You can learn how to embrace more pleasure in your life or spend more time in Nature.
For a more complex self-care journey you might need to learn how to regulate your nervous system, learn how to set healthy boundaries with family and friends, heal from complex trauma, or learn what conditioning and programming you have acquired from society in your life that is preventing you from living your truth.
I think everyone's self-care journey is different because we are all such unique individuals with varying life circumstances. So, it's important to study yourself and learn what self-care practices you intuitively feel you need most.
Do you see a role for skincare in the path to self-love?
I think skincare can most definitely be a path to self-love. When you are doing your daily skinccare ritual you can consciously spend time caring for yourself. You can make it a time to slow down. Touch yourself gently. Tell yourself you are beautiful or that you are enough as you are. You can look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how grateful you are for how your body serves you every day. You can become conscious of the pleasure that applying skincare products brings. The skincare ritual can be a powerful, loving, transformative experience if we allow ourselves to slow down and be totally present with ourselves.
For me, in the past, skincare was simply a way to get rid of pimples, or stall ageing. I used to buy a ton of products which weren't good for the planet (due to all the packaging) or for my wallet. All the ads I saw on social media told me I wasn't good enough unless I bought their products. It made me develop insecurities about myself.
Eventually I realised that this wasn't healthy, and I started to cut down on the products I bought. I focused on self-love instead of self-lack. I became happier from within and didn't need all the cosmetics to cover my insecurities anymore.
Now, I only use Bush Harvest Co’s Finger Lime Face Lift face serum. I don't wear makeup anymore. When applying the serum, I'm present with myself, appreciate my appearance even though I've aged over the years, and I just love how I feel after I apply it on my face. My face feels looked after, plump and hydrated when I apply it. I just love it!
You’ve been recommending our Finger Lime Face Lift serum. What led you to try this product and what was your first impression?
Well, first of all, the founders are my neighbours and friends, so that’s how I heard about their brand! But I did hear about Finger Lime serum being great for the skin and really wanted to try it for myself. I fell in love with it after my first use! The serum is light and my skin absorbs it easily. It leaves my face feeling so plump and moisturised without being greasy. The more I use it the better my skin feels and looks. Unlike some other products that I've tried in the past that stopped working after a while. This serum is the gift that keeps on giving.
It's exactly what I was hoping for and now I love applying it to my face, neck and decolletage. A little bit goes a long way, so it lasts me a while and I have a steady supply of it when I run out, as I can put my order in to Nat and pick it up in 10 minutes! ;)
What benefits have you experienced with Finger Lime Face Lift?
My skin is softer, the texture of my skin is more even, fewer breakouts, my fine lines are less engraved and chiselled. My skin is well-hydrated and it’s a pleasure to apply in the morning and night. I always look forward to it.
What’s next for Stef Wild?
I want to create a big platform for women to learn about self-love, self-care and re-wilding themselves, so they can live authentic lives. The membership is only the beginning, and the intention is to continue growing it and develop more resources for women.
Finally, do you have any recommendations for our readers who may be interested in exploring self-love coaching?
Yes, come join my membership, watch my YouTube videos, or contact me for some 1:1 coaching at http://www.StefWild.com.
If you’re looking to start your own journey towards self-love, self-discovery and unapologetic confidence, follow Stef @stef.is.wild.
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